This is one reason why the erotic is so feared, and so often relegated to the bedroom alone, when it is recognized at all. For once we begin to feel deeply all the aspects of our lives, we begin to demand from ourselves and from our life-pursuits that they feel in accordance with the joy which we know ourselves to be capable of. Our erotic knowledge empowers us, becomes a lens through which we scrutinize all aspects of our existence, forcing us to evaluate those aspects honestly in terms of their relative meaning within our lives. And this is a grave responsibility, projected from within each of us, not to settle for the convenient, the shoddy, the conventionally expected, nor the merely safe.

FYI, for me “ho tapes” are the internal voice that Black women hear when they are debating whether or not to engage in a sexual act. Often times, the politics of respectability play a role, and I theorize that frequently our “ho tapes” stop us from experiencing pleasure, or they allow us to center the pleasure of another while making our own secondary. #buggedout?

The nudity i think scares the nation as a whole because we are taught that nudity is a bad thing. But what i really learned was that when it was packaged the way i was, with no high heeled shoes or long hair or spinning around a pole or popping it, people have a hard time processing it when its not packaged for the consumption of male entertainment. They don’t know what to do with it or how to place it or what to say because surely a woman cant be intelligent enough to be making a point. It has to be for publicity or for sale.

Yet here was this beautiful man with an amazing body, blessed with an enviable eight-pack and an even more enviable sizable penis. His body was perfect, and the way he made love was slow and sensual and thoughtful. Between his gentle, passionate kisses, he frequently whispered “Are you okay? Is everything all right?” always to be sure that I got pleasure out of our lovemaking. The weight of his body on top of mine and the way his hands caressed every reach- able inch of me while he stroked my inner core drove me wild. His kisses were soft and just wet enough. His lips were full and warm, and everywhere they went I shook with full-blown desire